User:Chasker

I am confused. I saw a documentary on this place. Im a male of 19 and a virgin, who has had feelings for males and not females but only sexual under certain circumstances. Im almost repulsed by sexual behavior. But when I deeply fell in love with someone I noticed that I started being less repulsed at the thought of becoming sexually involved. It almost feels like "a step" that is to be taken in succession, its at the bottom of a staircase, and I don't get there unless I walk the others first. Besides that, if someone comes onto me, Im repulsed no matter what they look like, or how nice they seem.. I don't know if Im asexual. But I don't feel "gay" either. where do I go? Who can I talk to? What kind of person am I? I have a complete set of desires for when I eventually have sex that Im well aware of. But I don't understand what that means if every person who comes by I don't find attractive. Why do I have those desires if I have no means to express them? I know I must be talking in circles but Im just very confused.