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Greetings! It is I, Parth. I'm an Australian, Pagan Asexual. I'm 22 years old and I'm a female with XY chromosomes - I was supposed to be a man! Hehehehe! I have Swyer Syndrome.
I have met a variety AVENites in real life so far, from several countries, including SpirallingSnowy, Hayley Vos-Nalle, Hu, Bubble Laura Nalle-Vos.
Previously Known As
I have changed my username a few times, so here are my previous names
- Parth (current)
- A-Pagan (For my first week or so)
This is basically stuff from my AVEN profile
||20 Jul 2006
||Find my recent posts
|State or Province:
||New South Wales
||Whatever I feel like at the time. Usually none.
|| Drawing, web design, Paganism, witchcraft, graphics/multimedia
|| I'm looking for conversation, and friends
|| I'm asexual with varying levels of romanticity.
This is a collection of AVEN forum posts which work together to paint a picture of myself
A Weird One
Hi everyone, well I just wanted to start by saying I'm freaking weird. Always have been. Never been accepted, never developed social skills, never had a sexual relationship even though I'm 20. Well, of course you guys can identify with that last one at least.
Okay, my story is weird also. See, I barely even considered that I might be asexual until like 4 hours ago. Now I am almost entirely convinced that I am. Previously I have labeled mysef bisexual (because I was not attracted to males or females I figured that I had the same level of attraction for both men and women, therefore bi), then I considered myself pansexual, since I am not attracted by any physical matter, and my only attraction exists in the mind and personality and doesn't even approach sexual attraction, but I just thought the sexual attraction might come AFTER romance. Who knows it still might, but I do know that I just can't function with sexual beings who are not looking for intellect, personality, spiritual connection and romance, but are just looking for someone to bang. I don't even think about sex when I am around people and I have found it hard to fathom that others seem to assess every person based on their "bangability".
So yeah, that's me. Oh yeah, I'm also Pagan, believing in a lot of alternate spirituality and such. I don't generally bring it up in conversation except with other Pagans or people genuinely interested, so that's fairly irrelevant to many of you probably.
Hi Fellow Pagans
I think it is not only sexuality-based, but passion-based, as you say. Sex is regarded as an act of creation, so I think that we can celebrate this in non-sexual ways. Myself, I create lots and lots of art in celebration of the gods, and of my own power. I also make music (though not very good at it).
It is very interesting actually. About 6 years ago I chose Athena as my matron goddess (or she chose me), because owls are my totem animal, and now I realise that I am asexual and Athena is a virgin goddess, along with Artemis and Hestia. So I was really blown away when I realised this. And although it's a fertility sort of religion, I just happened to go for the deity that most represented my lack of sexuality.
I was also thinking about something someone said in that thread (I think) about using the cultivation of plants to represent the fertility aspect. I think that is a good idea really. Growing from seed is like creating life, and then by keeping it fed and watered that is like motherhood.
Neopaganism is about nature too, and ya know, some asexual reproduction goes on in nature.
I was contemplating rituals today and something hit me.
For me, solitary is the only way I can feel comfortable with rites and spells. The more people added, the less comfortable I feel. It's a bit like sex for me... alone "pleasuring myself" is really the only way I can feel comfortable with sexual energy. Add anyone else to the equation and I'm awkward and it just doesn't feel right at all.
Interesting, huh? Maybe I should be a hedgewitch or hermit. Or one of those creepy old crones that never marries and sells potions and scares little kids.
=== Statements herein are only opinion ===
It's interesting reading how many people say that it is a social construct. I think that gender identity is a biological thing, myself, from which a social construct has grown. Throughout history and in other species, the two genders have had different tendencies, because the body is built that way.
I think that these things form within the womb, but some anomalies occur which separates the gender identity from the biological gender, leaving ladies such as Kate with a constant feeling that they were supposed to be the other sex, and chances are they were, only something went wrong during development.
And then there are those of us who do not really identify with any gender. I would tentatively include myself in this category at this point. Perhaps we are yet another anomaly, that simply did not develop a gender identity and were only given our identities by this "social construct", so it seems to us to be like this for everyone, but I have been paying attention to this sort of thing lately and I think that most people are indeed born with their gender identity, for better or worse.
(hey, I'm a pagan - of course I think this)
Does Evil Exist?
Me, I believe that there is no good or evil, only circumstance.
In the absence of humanity, is there still good and evil? Animals eat animals, animals eat plants, some plants even eat animals, but that's nature. Not good, not evil, just animals doing what it's in them to do.
What I am trying to say is, the absence of the very human concepts of 'good' AND 'evil' results in complete and utter neutrality.
Now if we add humanity into this - our higher consciousness and thinking power, what do we get? People we label good, people we label evil. But both these groups of people are doing what they think is right, even if they know society views it as wrong.
So how can removing good = evil?
Removing what we label 'good' means that our definition of 'evil' would be considered 'good'. But even then, that's looking at it way too black and white.
I submit that Neutrality is the absence of Morality. You've got your moral, your immoral, and your 'AMORAL'. Amoral is the state of having no morality. This is what nature is.
I can't agree with the story posted, and not only because I don't believe in the "God = Love" mindset.
(Actually I believe that the divine is as neutral as nature Herself, so automatically it negates the original post)
Also, to play Devil's Advocate even further, how do we know that good is not the absence of evil, and evil is our default? (Actually, isn't this what Christians believe - that we're born into evil and only by repentence do we become good?)
EDIT: I want everyone to know that this is my opinion
, but please consider my POV all the same.
Bullying and Asexuality
Here's my story.
It all started in Kindergarten. I was always the odd one out. Every time I made a friend they seemed to move away, so I was constantly being left alone in the playground. Year 2 was a pretty good year for me, because I had a great friend in my class and we had each other. Then came years 3 to 5. I quickly became the go-to girl for teasing. They picked anything they could find. I was overweight, so that was a prime point to tease me about. At this teasing, I lashed out at the little bastards (they were boys and tomboys that teased me), trying to hit them, but they were always too quick for me because of my weight. They laughed and laughed and I got so upset.
At one point I was being called "fart-machine", for seemingly no reason - I passed wind just as much as any of my classmates - but it was just something they chose to call me. Another one was "Mexican Dancing Girl", because one time I was slightly dancing while standing at Assembly. I was teased like hell for that... no wonder I hate to dance now.
Finally, after being taught to ignore them, they eased off, but it left a profound mark on my psyche - I'm a complete pushover now. People walk all over me and I don't know how to stand up for myself.
In year 6, I had some friends that didn't really like me. Well, a couple thought I was okay, but the rest just didn't like me. There was Kathryn who was one of the ones that thought I was okay, and then there was Katie who put on the facade that she liked me but apparently did not (Kathryn, at one point, had told me Katie had told them to "ditch the dodo" - the dodo, of course, being myself). There was also Joanne, who seemed to hate me and really wasn't afraid to show it. I kept coming back to that group like a moth to the flame, because I was so damaged and desperate not to be alone. Looking back, I think I would have been better off without them. Whenever we played games, I was the one nobody liked - my "friends" were letting their true feelings come out through games rather than telling me, and then pretending that it was just a game. When I inevitably got upset, they would use that as a buffer - "It's only a game", "lighten up". It was actually more abusive an experience than the outright teasing, because it was so incredibly hurtful to have people pretend to be my friends while I really knew they were laughing behind my back. I wasn't an idiot - they were as transparent as glass, but I deluded myself into believing it was better than sitting alone.
I had indeed spent many a lunch time sitting on a bench by myself, watching other kids having fun. It was painful, and there wasn't a day where I didn't wish I could just make a genuine friend. I had fantasies about hypnotising everyone into liking me. Seriously.
When high school came along (HS is grades 7-12 in Australia) I couldn't wait - a fresh start! I didn't have stigma attached to me, so I was hoping to actually make friends. And on the third day of being there, I made a friend that is still my best friend eight years later... thank the gods. The bullying was finally over. Sure, I got a few comments from dumbass boys over the first few years of high school, but I gave what is now known as "the look", as if to say "don't you even think about teasing me, buster". It seemed to work.
Phew, that was a load off.
You asexuality and spirituality
My spirituality focuses on doing what feels natural... sex doesn't feel natural to me, so I don't want sex. But I totally endorse sex for those to whom it does come naturally
Heh, being a 'unique' case, I'm neither sex, and I'm neither gender... I'm human though, at least I think so.
I view gender as optional. Pick which one you feel like, or don't. But it can be hard when you feel like your body is betraying you. I finally got a taste of that when I was taking estrogen and my breasts began to grow and also became really sore. I don't know whether it's because of my innate gender neutrality or just the fact that I wasn't used to it, but I found it incredibly unpleasant and I really had second thoughts, and I have researched loads to alternatives to having to go through puberty. Luckily my trip to the UK made my hormone therapy postponed and I'm currently enjoying my flat chest and lack of menstrual cycle while I can.
So you could say that I am an untranssexual, in that I want to change nothing about my body... if that makes any sense. Laughing
But nevertheless, I understand what it's like for trannies, having had that taste of an alien body.... it just feels like, I dunno, your body and mind have become estranged or something. What you see of yourself in your head is different to the way you actually look, and it just feels wrong.