Relationship FAQ
Contents
- 1 General Questions
- 2 For asexuals
- 2.1 I would like to date a certain person, but I'm fairly sure that they're sexual. How can I approach them without giving them the wrong impression?
- 2.2 Is it possible to be asexual as well as lesbian, gay, or bi?
- 2.3 If my partner is sexually attracted to me, does this mean that their feelings are shallow and physical and they don't really love me?
- 2.4 Do I owe my partner sex because of things I've been doing with them, like flirting or kissing or letting them take me to fancy restaurants?
- 2.5 My partner is pressuring me to do sexual things that I don't want to do. How do I resolve this tension?
- 2.6 I've sworn off relationships with sexuals, but still feel romantic attraction. How can I find a like-minded asexual to date? Is there any hope?
- 2.7 What's a romantic relationship, anyway? Since I'm asexual, how does it differ from being good friends or cuddle-buddies?
- 3 For sexuals
- 3.1 I think my partner might be asexual. What should I do?
- 3.2 If my partner isn't sexually attracted to me, does this mean that they don't really love me?
- 3.3 I'm sure my partner is asexual but they won't talk about it with me. What can I do?
- 3.4 We had great sex at first but now it is totally gone. I don't understand. Is it possible that my partner has suddenly turned asexual?
- 3.5 My partner masturbates and/or watches pornography, but doesn't want to have sex with me. How is this possible?
- 3.6 What exactly is it that asexuals will and won't do? Do they enjoy kissing and cuddling? How about second base, or (fill in the name of a pseudosexual act here)?
- 3.7 I want to stay with my partner and support them but the lack of mutual sexual feelings is killing me. What can I do?
General Questions
Can asexuals have successful romantic relationships with each other?
Yes! There are many asexual couples on AVEN, including one married couple, and other asexual couples exist who met in different ways. The hard part is to find a compatible asexual person, but as asexual visibility increases and asexuality becomes accepted, this is expected to get easier.
Can asexuals have successful romantic relationships with sexuals?
Yes. The tension between the sexual partner's expectations and the asexual partner's needs can be very difficult to work with in some relationships, and many asexuals consider success so unlikely that they prefer not to date sexuals at all, but successful mixed relationships do exist. Some of these relationships are completely sexless; in others, the asexual partner "compromises" by having sex occasionally under certain circumstances; and in others, both partners experiment with pseudosexual behavior and find things that work for both of them. Like with any other compatibility issue in a relationship, the key is to establish excellent communication, so that both partners can know and respect the other's situation.
Why do asexuals want romantic relationships, anyway?
Not all asexuals do want romantic relationships. Some asexuals want romantic relationships because they experience romantic attraction. These asexuals get crushes and fall in love just like romantic sexuals do, except without the desire for sex.
