User:TheSmallWombat
Hiya,
I'm just a human. I'm puzzled by the idea of having to be a woman or man. I'm puzzled by the idea of being aroused or attracted to strangers or friends. I am a very sexual person with someone I share a deep connection with. I'm only a very sexual person if this mutual connection exists. I guess that makes me demisexual.
I just found out about this being a thing not too long ago. I've known for a long time that there was something "other" about the way I worked. I thought that my friends were just overly sexual. Then, after taking various courses I discovered that I am different. People actually feel sexually aroused and attracted to other people based on nothing at all. When someone says "I'd bang her," they would actually bang her. They actually want to bang her. I have said things like that but it only means, "she's reeeeeeeeeeal pretty and she is pretty enough to have casual sex with." It's a concept to me, not a feeling. When someone says "he's sexy" they actually feel something. That is CRAZY to me. That has NEVER happened to me. Okay, once and it was Frankenfurter in Rocky Horror Picture show. I was 16. I never had sexual feelings for a person in my life until I was 16! It was something about the gender bending thing. I think it was also the fledgling BDSM practitioner in me. I'm still blown away by this difference. I still cannot believe that people actually feel aroused by other people they see.
Figuring out that I'm demi has really helped me with someone other things. I now understand why it hits me really hard when friendships fail with men. I see them as humans and only that. They see me as a female and as a sex object. I have to be continually mindful of this when forming bonds. I have to be clear with people since they are not honest enough to be clear with me.
Within the past two years I've grown so much. BDSM's sex positive culture has really helped me come to terms with many aspects of myself. I do need to befriend people who identify somewhere in the spectrum of asexuality though. Loads of kinky people are accepting but not all get it. I hope that by creating a profile here and reading and taking part in discussions I'll find others.
