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As for sexual fluidity; it has been proven time and time again that it is not bull. Hundreds and thousands of people are the example of this; there are several tropes appearing widely in pop culture that celebrate or mock the fact that many of us are sexually fluid and sexuality is ever-changing. So what we're saying now is that this can only apply to sexuals? Really?
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Apart from that, I can assure anyone who may not know that after coming out as say, gay, after all that struggle and heartbreak and hopeful acceptance… It's damn well hard to come out after that, as fluid or just other, and not only have to repeat the process but having to face the silent judgement that you seem to be making, which has nothing to do with 'having your cake and eating it'.
  
It's a scary thought, but doesn't work in reality, fortunately. By which I mean using classical conditioning to explain/alter sexuality. There's plenty of really horrible groups out there who try to "convert" people... none of which succeed. They used to use electroshock treatment to try and convert people... which generally made them unable to physically have sex for a while, but I don't believed it changed their attractions.
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And as for gender fluidity, it's also not fun, not fun at all. It's not indecisiveness: people are not neatly labelled boxes. I don't think people like waking up in the mornings not knowing whether they'll be able to face the day or be it with crippling dysphoria; how they'll feel, what they can do to make it better. Gender fluid (and I'm sure sexually fluid, too) folks don't have that 'stability' that non-fluid people do, and that's scary, not 'special', and 'privileged'.
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It's highly unpleasant to suddenly, or gradually, or however-the-hell fast feel yourself shifting. It's sometimes like a rug has been pulled out form underneath you - you may not be who you were yesterday. (I've heard sexually fluid people talk about the same kind of experience, too.)
  
Also, think about it: realistically if classical conditioning was the cause of sexuality, we wouldn't see the patterns of [[attraction]] we do. Most kids make friends mostly with their own sex, and therefore through both mere exposure and classical conditioning the large majority of people would be gay. Girls would be a bit more gay than boys, on average, because mothers do more of the childcare than fathers on average, and therefore most children would get a slightly higher push towards females. And all asexuals would have just had most people in their lives be horrible to them...
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&ndash; ExeCUTE [http://www.asexuality.org/en/index.php?/topic/61826-is-fluid-just-another-way-of-saying-i-havnt-made-my-mind-up-yet/page__view__findpost__p__1869332 on gender and sexual fluidity].
 
 
&ndash; virescence [http://www.asexuality.org/en/index.php?/topic/61670-is-sexuality-just-classical-conditioning/page__p__1863681#entry1863681 on the origin of sexuality]
 
 
<DIV align="right"><small>''[[Post of the Week|...previous Posts of the Week]]''</small></DIV>
 
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&bull; The [http://www.asexuality.org/en/index.php?/topic/61129-mayjune-issue-of-avenues/ May/June issue] of AVEN’s online newsletter, [[AVENues]], has been published.  
 
&bull; The [http://www.asexuality.org/en/index.php?/topic/61129-mayjune-issue-of-avenues/ May/June issue] of AVEN’s online newsletter, [[AVENues]], has been published.  
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&bull; A paper, [http://www.springerlink.com/content/g6qq605677372428/ Theoretical Issues in the Study of Asexuality] by CJ DeLuzio Chasin, has been published in Archives of Sexual Behavior. AVEN discussion [http://www.asexuality.org/en/index.php?/topic/61421-theoretical-issues-in-the-study-of-asexuality/ here].
  
 
&bull;[http://www.telegraph.co.uk/relationships/8168531/No-sex-please-the-joys-of-a-celibate-life.html  The Telegraph] reports on celibacy and on asexuality in “No sex please: the joys of a celibate life”.  
 
&bull;[http://www.telegraph.co.uk/relationships/8168531/No-sex-please-the-joys-of-a-celibate-life.html  The Telegraph] reports on celibacy and on asexuality in “No sex please: the joys of a celibate life”.  

Revision as of 16:40, 2 June 2011

Asexual: a person who does not experience sexual attraction.

Welcome to the Asexual Visibility and Education Network. AVEN hosts the world's largest online asexual community as well as a large archive of resources on asexuality. AVEN strives to create open, honest discussion about asexuality among sexual and asexual people alike. Unlike celibacy, which is a choice, asexuality is a sexual orientation. Asexual people have the same emotional needs as everybody else and are just as capable of forming intimate relationships. To find out more about asexuality, click here.


Start browsing AVENwiki: Dive In

AVEN Post of the Week

As for sexual fluidity; it has been proven time and time again that it is not bull. Hundreds and thousands of people are the example of this; there are several tropes appearing widely in pop culture that celebrate or mock the fact that many of us are sexually fluid and sexuality is ever-changing. So what we're saying now is that this can only apply to sexuals? Really? Apart from that, I can assure anyone who may not know that after coming out as say, gay, after all that struggle and heartbreak and hopeful acceptance… It's damn well hard to come out after that, as fluid or just other, and not only have to repeat the process but having to face the silent judgement that you seem to be making, which has nothing to do with 'having your cake and eating it'.

And as for gender fluidity, it's also not fun, not fun at all. It's not indecisiveness: people are not neatly labelled boxes. I don't think people like waking up in the mornings not knowing whether they'll be able to face the day or be it with crippling dysphoria; how they'll feel, what they can do to make it better. Gender fluid (and I'm sure sexually fluid, too) folks don't have that 'stability' that non-fluid people do, and that's scary, not 'special', and 'privileged'. It's highly unpleasant to suddenly, or gradually, or however-the-hell fast feel yourself shifting. It's sometimes like a rug has been pulled out form underneath you - you may not be who you were yesterday. (I've heard sexually fluid people talk about the same kind of experience, too.)

– ExeCUTE on gender and sexual fluidity.

Did you know...

• … that some asexual people are happier on their own or with a group of close friends, while other asexuals have a desire to date and will form more intimate romantic relationships?


• … that asexual relationships are based on the same elements that are also important for many sexual people, like understanding, commitment, trust, emotional intimacy and communication?


• … that for some asexuals arousal is a fairly regular occurrence, though it is not associated with a desire to find a sexual partner? Some asexuals will occasionally masturbate, but feel no desire for partnered sexuality. Other asexual people experience little or no arousal.

Asexuality in the Media

• The May/June issue of AVEN’s online newsletter, AVENues, has been published.

• A paper, Theoretical Issues in the Study of Asexuality by CJ DeLuzio Chasin, has been published in Archives of Sexual Behavior. AVEN discussion here.

The Telegraph reports on celibacy and on asexuality in “No sex please: the joys of a celibate life”.

Harlot magazine, the online version of Scarlet magazine, featured an article entitled "Rise of the Asexual" in issue 19 in October 2010.

• Helen Croydon interviewed several AVENites for an article in Foreplay magazine and another in the Times.

forskning.no has a Norwegian article, "Det siste sex-tabuet", which gives a basic summary of asexuality.

Marie Claire contains a short article, "The New Asexual Movement".

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Want to help improve AVEN's wiki? Everyone is welcome to create an account and help edit the wiki. Before getting started, new users (even experienced wiki users) should review the Beginner's guide to get a feel for the AVEN wiki.


When you are ready, check out this list to get ideas on which articles people would like to see written or improved, or join in the discussion on AVEN's forum to make suggestions.